[Note: In this article, the use of the words “Master” and “slave” is non-gender specific.]
You, the Master, are in charge and in control. You own the responsibility of your property – whether it is real estate, slaves or your thoughts. You call the shots. You make the decisions and create your reality. Things are grand.
You, the slave, have given up your life’s freedom to serve and please your Owner. You own nothing anymore. You obey orders and respond to your Master’s will. Things are grand.
However, it’s also soon discovered that this is an idealized description of our world – a perfect world without any problems or mistakes. The Master unerringly makes the right decisions. Slaves happily comply without hesitation. Master wishes – slave does. This is the symbiotic reverence of being in ideal Master/slave relationships. This is what Masters and slaves dream of, isn’t it?
Clearly, one of the biggest errors both Masters and slaves experience, is to believe that Masters make the best decision – always. Why not – aren’t they supposed to? They are Masters after all. Complete Masters of themselves and their domain?
There is no such being as the Master who, like an oracle, makes the correct choice in every instance. Masters are humans, and humans commit mistakes. As easy as it sounds, both Masters and slaves tend to forget this. Masters often become overconfident of themselves, just because they are in charge. They may disregard options. Slaves, quite similarly, tend to believe in an illusion that their Masters are perfect. It’s possibly why they gave complete control to their Master in the first place.
It is important to think about what this means for our daily interaction – between Master and slave – and the future development of our relationships. Failure to recognize the fact that Masters are imperfect will lead to instability, and loss of trust in our households. At a minimum, it will cause confusion, but it may also cause broken relationships and separation.
As a Master, it is meaningful to keep yourself levelheaded, and try to make responsible and “right” decisions. However, you have to accept that you are going to have your share of misjudgments and miscalculations. Some examples are assigning too many tasks to be accomplished in a certain time, demanding too much commitment/control too soon, or expecting your slaves to learn a specific task quicker than they can manage. And it’s equally challenging to manage yourself with compassion as well. Yes, sometimes, and inevitably, you make wrong determinations.
It is a great sign of strength and confidence when you accept and admit your mistakes. Showing an understanding of what went wrong, and explaining why, provides comfort and trust for everyone involved. If you do not, that fault is likely to happen again. There is nothing worse than slaves not knowing whether you realize a mistake. Humility goes a long way also for Masters.
Slaves get frightened, disappointed, or even angry, when things don’t turn out how their Masters told them they would. It can be very disorienting for slaves to, literally, put their life in their Master’s hands, and then find out they aren’t necessarily masterful in all things, and at all times. It can cause slaves to question their own ability, or even their slavery. At the most extreme, it may feel like betrayal.
As a slave, consider that if you feel disillusioned, or have succumbed to fearfulness about your Master’s oversights, a good place to find freedom from that, is to realize and accept that a “wrong” decision was not yours to make. A good, honest, and loving Master does not make mistakes on purpose. To release judgment and ownership, over a result that your Master did not intentionally cause, is a great first step.
Master or slave, humans often experience complex learning as “painful”. A considerable milestone is achieved when we no longer automatically shun areas of growth that may be difficult, and in fact, make the decision to be willing for more. Not because we enjoy that kind of pain, but because we recognize that pain, like pleasure, is sometimes useful to achieve progress in ourselves and our goals. Once we have chosen our dream, we must have the confidence, integrity and determination to follow it.
And now, we will remember that Masters will never be perfect – even if we all desire them to be!
This writing has been contributed by Eric Pride, an alternative lifestyle educator in New York City. Eric, together with his wife Lady Christie, heads a structured authority-based household in New York. The household celebrated its 10 year anniversary in 2012. The primary focus of the household is integrating healthy power-exchange dynamics into daily life and providing guidance, training, and support for its individuals. Eric enjoys consensual S&M, blogs on different aspects of the lifestyle, and gives presentations on alternative lifestyle relationships, structured authority-based living, S&M, ritual and spirituality.
This writing has been contributed by Eric Pride, an alternative lifestyle educator in New York City. Eric Pride (c) 2013-14. All rights reserved. http://www.ericpride.com.